Living the dream…
Living the dream….
So I start 2018 living the dream, how exciting! But what does it feel like living the dream? It doesn’t feel any different to normal! I started my new job in September, working for our social enterprise, so I am now my own boss! People ask me, do you feel pressure having your own business, do you feel stressed with the responsibility? I feel less stressed now than I have ever felt, I feel at peace and I’m just going with the flow. At first after a week or two I did feel a bit overwhelmed thinking OMG there is so much work to do! But I took 3 deep breaths and let that worry float away. I decided to write some lists of actions I needed to take and told myself I had to do it step by step and I couldn’t do everything at once. I never really wrote lists before just kept everything in my head. Previously if I would have had all these ideas in my mind I wouldn’t have been able to settle until they were all actioned and completed. But these days I’m realistic with what I can achieve and manage my expectations. (This is the best piece of advice a Dr gave me a few years ago, manage your expectations Melissa! It was hard, but I think I’m getting there now)
So, I’m working with a collaboration of 8 GP practices that all have different dynamics and different ways of working. This has been quite interesting and has brought one or two challenges with it, but so far so good. I guess it is quite exciting when I think about it and the freedom I’ve been given. I have been doing training sessions, joint clinics, mentoring and building relationships. But after a month or two I started to get itchy feet thinking now what? Not that I was not happy, but I had achieved what I wanted so what should I focus on now. Why couldn’t I just be satisfied with that? I could rest now, just BE for a while! But oh no, inside of me I feel like I need to do more. I go through phases like this every so often, a feeling of itchy feet that a change is coming but I just need to be patient and my next path will be shown. I’m in middle of the teaching course and this is for my career, but it will also link with my spiritual path. I feel like this year instead of focusing on my career the focus has shifted to my personal development. I’ve signed up learn reiki and signed up to do a deeper course in Buddhism as I’m starting to teach that at a basic level this year. I wouldn’t have dared do anything like this before, but feel I must do it to benefit others.
My mum is already quite anxious because my contract expires in September and she keeps telling me I need to save money in case I’m left without a job. Mother relax, it will all be fine! She says booking her next flight to New York! I went to New York as planned at the end of last year but of course it didn’t go to plan. Our flight was cancelled in Dublin and we were offered a refund and basically that was it. So, I used my negotiating and leadership skills I have been learning over the years and manged to get us a flight. We were the only ones to get a flight, I felt so lucky. But our trip was cut short so it’s only right I should make it back up! I won’t mention to her yet that I have my eyes on going back to the monastery in Nepal at the end of the year to do a course. It might tip her over the edge haha. I’ve had a lot of pressure and stress over the years and it hasn’t been easy bringing up two kids on my own. They are getting older now, so I think I’ll be a bit crazy for a year or two and have some fun. Then I’ll think about being sensible and settling down.
But for now, it’s the start of another year and another chapter to write. I don’t know where I’ll end up or what I will be doing this time next year but I’m excited by what this year will bring. I have a feeling that 2018 is going to be even better than 2017 and that will be hard to beat!